Therapy for Womb Twin Survivors & Prenatal Trauma:
A feeling that has no name, from a time before words.
Some people carry a quiet sense that someone is missing. It can be there in a full room, in a good relationship, in a life that looks fine from the outside. You may have grown up feeling different, endlessly searching for something you couldn’t name, or grieving without knowing what for.
If that sounds familiar, you’re not imagining it, and you’re not alone. This page is for people who suspect they began life as one of two, and for people who feel the weight of early experiences they have no memory of.
What is womb twin loss?
Many pregnancies begin as twin or multiple pregnancies, and one baby does not continue to develop. This is often called a “vanishing twin syndrome” in the medical world. It can happen so early that the parents never knew, however the surviving baby holds this trauma on an energetic, cellular and body level. When the surviving baby is born alone, and is sometimes called a womb twin survivor or a lone twin.
Writers and practitioners in this field, including Althea Hayton, Alfred and Bettina Austermann, and Fr Jim Cogley, have suggested that this earliest loss can leave a lasting imprint. Because it happens before we have language, survivors often can’t explain what they feel. They only know that it’s there. It can even present as many existing ‘disorders’ and is often misdiagnosed because this field is not widely known yet.
Experiences people often describe
People who identify as womb twin survivors often describe:
A lifelong sense that something, or someone, is missing
A restless searching for something they can’t put a name to
Feeling different from other people, as if they don’t quite belong
Feeling alone, even among friends and family
A fear of rejection or abandonment, or difficulty with closeness and with being alone
A persistent sense of dissatisfaction, even when life is going well
A feeling of never quite reaching their potential, or a pattern of getting in their own way
Difficulty with anger, either too much of it or too little
A sense of having two very different sides to their character
Sadness, anxiety or grief with no clear source
Survivor guilt, or a feeling that they have to earn their place
A strong pull towards twins, or a deep reaction to stories of twin loss
A sense that early separation, such as a difficult pregnancy, a traumatic birth or time in neonatal care, left its mark on them
Experiences from before birth and the earliest months of life aren’t stored as a story. They’re held as feelings, sensations and patterns, which is why so many people say they “have no words” for what they carry.
I’m trained in EMDR, and for prenatal trauma like womb twin’s, I use Dr Sandra Paulsen’s early trauma approach. It adapts EMDR for experiences that happened before we had language. The work is gradual. We start by building safety and steadiness, then gently work through early experiences in stages, following your timeline from the beginning of life, at a pace you control.
Alongside the EMDR work, I help you piece together your own story of those earliest months. We look at what you know, such as family stories, scans or birth details, and at what you sense, without anything having to be proven. Many people describe a dream-like impression of life before birth rather than a clear memory, and we treat that with curiosity and respect. We also explore how that first bond, and its loss, may shape your closeness with others today: whether you tend to merge, keep people at a distance, or feel pulled between two sides of yourself. There is room for grief that was never acknowledged and for survivor guilt, and, if it feels right for you, for a simple ritual of remembrance or farewell that you shape yourself. It can be very powerful to name your lost twin, and help them take their place in your family system.
You don’t need to have memories, a clear story or the right words. Many people come with only a feeling, and that is enough to begin.
Our first session is a 90-minute initial assessment, where we look at whether this approach is the right fit for you and what preparation you need first.