Book Review: What My Bones Know by Stephanie Foo
Healing from Complex Trauma

I came across What My Bones Know through a therapist book club recommendation, though I didn’t end up attending. Nonetheless, I’m grateful for the suggestion.

Stephanie Foo, a successful journalist, uses her investigative skills to explore her complex trauma in this memoir. Through her personal journey of self-discovery and healing, she shares painful accounts of abuse, offering a trigger warning for readers due to the graphic nature of her experiences.

Foo’s path to a diagnosis of complex trauma was not straightforward. Despite years of therapy, she remained undiagnosed until later in life. The book sheds light on the struggle for recognition and the stigma surrounding newer trauma diagnoses, which was especially poignant given the US medical model that relies on diagnoses for insurance purposes. (In contrast, many therapists in the UK and Ireland do not diagnose their clients.)

One of the book’s most profound insights is Stephanie’s experience with therapy. Though she worked with many therapists over the years, it wasn’t until she encountered one who was transparent about his approach and his own internal processes that their therapeutic relationship truly resonated. This highlights the importance of timing in therapy — sometimes you’re just not ready to heal until the right therapist and the right moment align.

A central theme in What My Bones Know is systemic racism, particularly how it contributed to Foo’s abuse being overlooked. She bravely revisits her school, reflecting on how stereotypes like the “tiger mom” trope prevented teachers from seeing the deeper issues at play in her abuse. Her courage in confronting this part of her story is an important contribution to the conversation on trauma.

I highly recommend this memoir, especially for trauma survivors. Stephanie’s message of hope is both reassuring and realistic: healing is a lifelong process. She acknowledges that trauma resurfaces through grief, and accepting this cyclical nature is an essential part of recovery.

If you’re interested in reading more, here’s the link to the book on Amazon: What My Bones Know – Amazon. call to discuss your own needs, you can do so here